Finally, the words I’ve waited fifty years to say: I’M ENGAGED. Why now you ask and not five years ago? Ten years ago? Twenty years ago? I’m not sure, but I think it has a little something to do with the right time, the right guy, and being in the right place emotionally and personally. Being a late bloomer too, added to the timing I’m sure.
I turned fifty in February 2013 and gave up on marriage. I threw in the towel. I had enough. I was tired. Tired of dating, tired of disappointments, tired of all the high hopes, false starts, nice guys who couldn’t close, and nice enough guys who couldn’t quite cut it. I didn’t exactly quit, I just decided to accept my life as it was and make peace with being single.
Look around. Look at what you’ve created. Look at who you’ve become. Then pat yourself on the back and feel good about it. Being single isn’t the worst thing in the world.
Here’s a little piece of advice for you single ladies out there wanting and waiting to get married: stop giving a shit. When you stop hyper-focusing, when you stop working so hard, when you can stop obsessing and worrying, magical things can happen. The Zen Buddhist philosophy says “Detach from the outcome,” and I finally did. There is beauty in surrender if you can do it – it just takes courage. Or in my case, it took plain old exhaustion. More about this in future posts, but for now, here’s what I can tell you.
When I let go, the right guy walked into my life and changed it forever.
So here’s a little bit about the right guy: Robby Scharf. He’s from my hometown of Beverly Hills, he went to the same high school, he studied music at Berklee School of Music, he works for Sennheiser (manufacturer of pro audio equipment), and he’s a volunteer coach for Special Olympics. We met through mutual friends on Facebook. He’s a good, kind, decent human being with a beautiful heart and soul. And if you think waiting fifty years to get married is a long time, Robby’s been waiting a whopping 56 years!
That’s right, I’m 50 and he’s 56 and neither of us have ever been married. This is the first for the both of us. So now here we are, trying to plan a wedding and it’s like the blind leading the blind. We’re total rookies here. At an age when most people are getting colonoscopies, we’re getting married.
That’s why I’m starting this blog – to document my experiences, to share my thoughts and musings, and to chronicle my journey for the next few months as a 50-year-old first time bride.
I’m also doing this for the input since I know absolutely nothing about weddings. As an only child with no older siblings, I’m going to have to create my own footsteps to follow here. So any advice, suggestions, or ideas you may have are all welcome. Got a hot tip? Hell, pipe up and chime in! I’d love to hear what you have to say.
I’m embarrassed to admit that I’ve either attended or been a bridesmaid at countless weddings but never took mental notes. I was either too drunk, having too much fun, or too busy flirting with the groomsmen to remember a thing. With that said, to further assist me on this journey, I’ve enlisted a wedding S.W.A.T. team of friends to help out.
My wedding pit crew consists old pals and new, divorced and happily married, and they’ll be my side as I attempt to navigate through this odyssey called wedding planning. Hopefully with your guidance and theirs, I will make it down the aisle before I’m officially a senior citizen.