Is Donald Trump F-ing With Your Love Life?

1b4d37002965a8b747d2089d0caeb56eIt’s been over a year since the 2016 presidential campaign, nine months since the election, and six months since the inauguration, and I’ve just gotta know: Is Trump cramping your dating style?

Are you a Republican finding it harder to hook up? Are you a Democrat getting laid left and right? Are you red-hot in a Blue state, or do you have blue balls in a Red state?

Is your dating pool getting deeper with prospects, or is your swamp getting drained?

Politics, especially in dating, has become a lighting rod, a third rail of attraction or revulsion. Everything is supercharged, and everyone is hot and bothered.

POLITICS IS SEXY!

Whether politics has made dating easier or harder is debatable, but one thing’s for sure: Donald Trump has become the new measure of compatibility. It’s not enough anymore to know someone’s age, religion, interests, marital goals, or career, you’ve got to know if they’re a Nasty Woman, a Bad Hombre, or a fellow Deplorable.

In other words, you need to know where someone stands. Or, do you? Does it really matter if that cute girl on Tinder voted for Trump, or that hunk on Bumble voted for Hillary? Do you care if the man/woman of your dreams wants to make America great again?

In today’s dating world, party affiliation is either the greatest aphrodisiac, or the world’s worst allergy. It’s the difference between a match made in heaven, a relationship destined for hell, an instant turn-on, or a complete turn-off.

Swiping on a dating app is not unlike pulling a lever in a voting booth. Case in point from a real Tinder profile:

“Trump voters please swipe left, and go to your room and think about what you’ve done.”

OPPOSITES ATTRACT (except when it comes to Trump)

According to data from dating site Match.com, 60% of singles say they are less open to dating across party lines than two years ago. It’s even harsher among liberals, who tend to really dig in when it comes to Trump. In fact, Match found that a whopping 91% of liberals judge potential dates negatively if they voted for Trump. Conservatives, on the other hand, are slightly less judgmental. 57% said they are more likely to date across party lines.

Data from another dating app, CoffeeMeetsBagel, seems to back this up. A poll of 1,320 of its users found that 70% of Democrats feel “politics are impacting their dating lives ‘slightly to profoundly,’” while only 43% Republican singles feel the same way. 66% say being aligned politically is more important than good sex.

Conclusion: What’s in your heart is more important than what’s in your pants.

Sometimes opposites do attract though. Take conservative commentator Mary Matalin and Democratic strategist James Carville. They’ve managed to stay married for 24 years by keeping politics out of the bedroom (or maybe by keeping them in, who knows).

Like I said, politics can be sexy!

For the rest of us though, the political division– and resulting lack of desire from liberals and conservatives to date each other– is why David Goss launched TrumpSingles.com, “a regular dating site where people who are fans of Donald Trump can go and meet each other,” as it’s described.

Goss, a Trump supporter himself, saw the dating divide, and instead of bridging it, he enabled it with Trump lovers. Even though he hopes everyone will make love and not war one day, he knows full well that’s not going to happen anytime soon.

“Yeah, it goes both ways. You know, like a liberal doesn’t want to date a Nazi, and a Republican doesn’t want to date, well, a whiny snowflake, and that’s what they’re viewing each other as.”

YOU KNOW IT’S TOUGH OUT HERE FOR A DATER

My friends on both sides of the political spectrum recently shared some thoughts on love in the time of Trump:

My friend Bob, 58, describes himself as not so much a Trump lover as he was a Hillary hater, but went for Trump anyway.

Last November, he was fixed-up on a blind date, but the meeting place was an election night party (advertised as a Hillary victory party). Knowing he was going into hostile territory, he passed on the opportunity. It ended up being no big loss since a few months later, he met a fellow Trump voter, with whom he’s hot and heavy.

My friend Jill, 48, a diehard Dem, had a promising start with a guy on Match. After taking it off-line and on to the phone, they found an easy rapport. He was interesting, funny, and she was liking him more by the minute.

They had great chemistry, and talked for hours. But when the conversation turned to politics, it all went to hell. Turns out, he was a Trump supporter, and she couldn’t get past that.

“I was in shock. We lined up on so much, I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I kind of lost respect for him, and came up with excuses not to see him again. For me, it’s not about politics, it’s about values.”

*Caveat: If you’re a liberal, there’s no reason why you can’t date a Trump supporter just as long as they’re willing to call Trump out on his BS. And by BS, I mean his compulsive lying (an automatic dating disqualifier for me). Liberals also have to look at themselves when their team fucks up too. It goes both ways.

THE POLITICS OF DATING

Like David Goss of TrumpSingles.com, I too hold out hope that one day we can put aside our differences, find common ground, and sing Kumbaya. I hope one day a Repugnant can love a Libtard, and the GOP can party with the DNCC.

But I’m not getting my hopes up too soon, because as I have realized (for better or for worse) you are your politics, and politics is principle. You can’t separate them.

Daters, ask yourselves: Are we on the same page? Do my values align with his? Do my politics jibe with hers? If so, you’ve met your match. If not, well, there’s always the next Trump rally or women’s march to find what you’re looking for.

Politics might have no place in dating, but let’s be honest: it’s the fastest way to weed out the riffraff, and for that, you can thank Donald Trump.

He could be the best f-ing thing that’s ever happened to your love life.

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Make Dating Great Again!

 

“The Trump Effect” And How It’s Affecting Me

2016-06-25-13-30-31This blog post isn’t about Donald Trump the candidate. It’s not about his platform or policies, or his vulgar comments caught on tape last week. In fact, this post isn’t about politics at all. It’s about Donald Trump the bully, and the effect his bullying is having on me.

“The Trump Effect,” isn’t something I made up. It’s a real term coined by the nonprofit Southern Poverty Law Center, an organization that tracks hate groups.

In their new study, “The Trump Effect: The Impact of the Presidential Campaign on our Nation’s Schools,” the SPLC shows that the election is inflaming racial and ethnic tensions, and producing alarming levels of fear and anxiety among children of color.

Whether it’s schoolchildren taunting “Build that wall!” or “Go back to Mexico!” Trump’s xenophobic rhetoric on the campaign trail is being played out in ugly playground spats and classroom exchanges all across America.

I’m not a kid, but I feel their pain.

I’ve been the victim of bullying too—not in a schoolyard when I was a kid—but as an adult, not so long ago. I was harassed, cyber-bullied, and threatened by two ex-friends of mine, both grown women with children of their own. I spoke about this at length in my post “When Your BFF Becomes A POS.” It was a horrible time of my life, and it feels like I’m reliving it all over again thanks to Donald Trump.

Just last week, an irate Trump supporter on Facebook wished me some horrific things–including rape– in a comment thread. Now, I’ve gotten into some political jousting on social media before, but suggesting physical harm because I disagree with you is taking it to a whole other disturbing level.

Trump’s habit of demonizing people because of their race, religion, gender, profession, and appearance, is hitting a very sensitive spot for me. Whenever he humiliates and shames, it’s like he’s doing it to me personally. Whenever he hurls an insult or demeans someone, my heart hurts a little.

Muslims, Mexicans, immigrants, women, minorities, POWs, and the disabled, I feel their pain too.

Trump’s mean-spirited tweets and inflammatory language are triggering a trauma in me I thought was healed, but unfortunately, the wound is still open and the pain is very real.

Worst of all, Trump is inciting a mindset in his supporters that feels like a collective threat to my soul. They remind me of an angry mob with pitchforks and torches, but instead of marauding through towns, they hide behind computers trying to destroy you with their words.

I’m not the only one affected by the Trump Effect. There’s scores of people–young and old– who’ve been threatened and harassed by haters, internet trolls, and online bullies.

Female Reporters

When Donald Trump suggested that Fox News moderator Megyn Kelly might have been on her period because she was tough on him during a debate, his supporters jumped all over her with an avalanche of online hatred. They called her every name in the book including “bitch, slut, whore,” amongst other things.

Olivia Nuzzi, a reporter with the Daily Beast, knows a thing or two about online bullying too. After she posted a story on Marla Maples on Facebook, Mike Krawitz, a Trump supporter and Republican candidate for the West Deptford New Jersey, township committee, wrote this on her page: “Fuck. You. Olivia, I. Hope. Somebody. Rapes. You. Today.”

Jewish Journalists

When Observer writer Dana Schwartz complained about Donald Trump’s tweeted image of Hillary Clinton in front of raining money with a six-sided star, declaring she’s the “Most Corrupt Candidate Ever!” she had no idea the shit storm of anti-Semitic abuse she would get. His supporters attacked her with hundreds of tweets that ranged from mocking her nose, to applauding the Holocaust.

Jewish political reporters who cover Trump, say they are regularly subject to anti-Semitic harassment by Trump fans online.

Just ask journalist Julia Ioffe. After she published a profile of Donald Trump’s wife Melania earlier this year, she was inundated with angry, anti-Jewish tweets, emails, and even death threats.

People of Color

When Fox News reported that President Obama’s daughter Malia had elected to attend Harvard University after taking a year off, it didn’t go unnoticed by their readers. The comments were so racist, Fox News had to shut down the comments section on their website. Here’s an example:

“Probably staying out for a year so she can help her parents carry out the furniture and dinnerware when they leave the White House.”

And that was one of the nicer things.

After Donald Trump won the Nevada Republican primary, Huffington Post civil rights reporter Julia Craven tweeted her concerns about the possibility of a Trump presidency:

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In response, Craven was unexpectedly hit by a full wrath of hate like this:

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So How Do You Deal With Bullies?

In my case, because the harassment was so extreme, I had to hire a lawyer. The situation was eventually resolved, and the truth became clear: bullies are really just insecure cowards.

As for the Facebook bully from last week, he ended up apologizing to me after being reported by friends and others who were also offended by his comments.

The bullying may be over for me, but I worry about the rest of our country. I want to believe the “Trump Effect” is just a passing fad; I want to believe that civility and kindness aren’t things of the past, and that bad behavior is not the new normal.

Regardless of what happens on November 8th, we must make sure that bullying never wins.

 

To find out more about how you can fight bullying, please visit:

http://beyondbullies.org

https://www.stopbullying.gov

http://www.championsagainstbullying.com